Scioly Assassination Number 42: DON'T PANIC.

[Assassinator]

Welcome to The Hitchhiker's Guide to Killing.

This forum has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people posting on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of different extraneous informational threads around the boards, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the extraneous informational threads that were unhappy.

I, on the other hand, present my own solution: putting all of you out of your misery.

In this case, PANIC might actually be the most appropriate of actions.



As for the pleasantries:

1. The police officers will be the next five people who post. Put in a bit of thought before posting. If you have not been around for awhile, it is less likely that you will be able to identify me.

2. People will die. However, there are some exceptions. I will not kill administrators or moderators. In return, I ask that they not reveal my identity.

3. Police officers may die, but a police officer may protect another police officer.

4. Once a police officer has made three incorrect accusations, he may not accuse or protect anyone.

5. The assassin will provide clues which plainly point to his next victim, and occasionally to himself.

6. The assassin will continue to post with his true account, and may provide hints there.

7. The assassin will write entertaining and mildly gruesome accounts of his kills.

8. When accusing someone of being Assasinator you must use the following template "I accuse (place name here) because (give reason here)." If you don't use this template when accusing the accusation won't count.

9. Once "killed" a user may not make any statements about the identity of the Assasinator.

10.Civilians may post

11.The assassinator is allowed to kill if 3 days have passed since the posting of the clue and not all protects have been made. If all protects have been made and 4 days have passed since then the officers are all allowed one additional protect

12.If the assassinator does not reply in 8 days after all protects are made, each officer gets a free accusation. However that accusation must be made next time the user posts and cannot be stored as an extra one to use later.

13. The Assasinator reserves the right to add to these rules as he deems necessary.

As I make my preparations for my first kill, I leave you with this. I can only hope, for your sake, that you solve the clue before I am prepared to take my first victim.

Wfirmt gsv mrmvgvvm-gsrigrvh, gsviv dzh lmv kzigrxfozi xrgb gszg dlm gdl wruuvivmg nzqli mzgrlmzo hkligh xsznkrlmhsrkh rm gsv hznv bvzi, rm vzxs xzhv yvrmt gsv urihg grnv gszg gvzn szw vevi dlm gsv gsv xlevgvw mzgrlmzo grgov. Gsv rwvmgrgb lu gsv gvzn gszg dlm gsv xsroorvi lu gsv gdl hkligh klrmgh kozrmob gl nb erxgrn-gl-yv.

[gyourkoshaven]

1st one in again.

[sweetcoop]

in

[robotman]

in

[rocketman1555]

in

[Pleiades]

in

[nejanimb]

Hahaha.

I totally didn't recognize the title of this assassination until I opened the thread and then went and did a little research. I should have known - This is number 42, after all. Clever of this assassinator to pull a quote from the book - does anyone know if that's actually the beginning of the book? I confess, I've never actually read the hitchhikers' guide...

I'm so glad Assassinations are still going. After all of that talk about possibly discontinuing it, I know I was one of the louder voices in favor of keeping going, and I'm very glad we did. The last couple Assassinations have been fantastic - Starpug's pirate-ized version was hilarious, and the last one was awesome, although brief. This assassinator basically had his/her topic handed to them from the outset - I mean, it's number 42, what else could they have chosen? - but it looks like this is going to be a good one...

Did I mention I *really* want to be assassinator someday? This seems like so much fun... ha! Perhaps I'll send this assassin a clue or two I've had in mind...

Good luck officers! I'll try to hop back in help with the clues when I can, though I never seem to be very good at figuring them out - I never know where to start... Keep me in the back of your mind when you're choosing someone once you catch this guy... .

[starpug]

Haha

stupid assassin you think your ciphers can fool us, here's what his Atbash cipher says.
During the nineteen-thirties, there was one particular city that won two different major national sports championships in the same year, in each case being the first time that team had ever won the the coveted national title. The identity of the team that won the chillier of the two sports points plainly to my victim-to-be

That would be croman74, detroit Red Wings won it in 1935 and the Tigers did too.

[croman74]

Missed it again.
Good luck guys. Seems like it's gonna be a good round.

[blue cobra]

Best. Assassination. Ever.

Anything with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is an epic win

Resume game.