Scioly.org

"[mr coach] can you please tell [brother] to stop vandalizing the sheet just because I made it or I will stab him with a ukulele and a breadstick"

"Who are you!? You're not the Golgi Apparatus..."

"KONSERVAT OR KONZENTRAT BENNY THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESITONS"

edit: "Benny, you are an awful keyboardist."

"...Rasputin was consumed by the RedVines..."

Human: “What are you expecting me to say? ‘I got all A’s and good grades and am gonna get 100% on the next test. Fear me?’”
Another human:
Human:
Another human: “Yes”
Human:
Human: “I got all A’s and good grades and am gonna get 100% on the next test. FEAR ME.” I've read through too many interesting conversations

If you put your phone in the oven the level goes down significantly

_{no phones were harmed in the making of this comment}

I'm not going to mine a chunk right now.

“they use two regular guys to build one Yao Ming”

The lights are in eternal meditation! That's why the temperature scanner hasn't gotten us yet.

A: "What are you doing?"
2: "{While leaning around A.} Trying to sniff your tuna."