Scioly Assassination 77: Coup d'état

[quadratic]

austinfhs, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], quadratic, smartkid222, Yahoo [Bot]

[mingtian]

austinfhs, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], quadratic, smartkid222, Yahoo [Bot]

It's not smartkid. No way.

[EpicFailOlympian]

What da heck, I protect myself too.

[space scientist]

austinfhs, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], quadratic, smartkid222, Yahoo [Bot]

It's not smartkid. No way.

I agree with your conclusion, mingtian. Smartkid hasn't posted on an assassination thread for the past year (I searched for Smartkid's posts to figure this out.), and assassins are typically people who are active on assassination threads and other posting games. In addition, the search results for Smartkid's posts take up 96 pages while only 13 pages are from posts this past year, and Smartkid joined about 3 years ago. That means that Smartkid is less active now than he/she used to be.

[Assassinator]

The city hall was crammed with citizens. All were panic-ridden; even the officers, though they hated to admit it. amerikestrel was speaking, trying to reassure them.
“I am a United States FBI agent, and I can assure you that nothing is to be fear-“
He shot a look at zyzzyva98. They had both heard the ticking.
“EVERYBODY OUT!” shouted zyzzyva98. The other officers quickly followed suit, ushering the citizens out of the hall. Some people in the audience fell. RandomPerson dove into the crowd to save them. The blast took the building and shook it to its roots. Somebody fell instantly from the shrapnel, and the officers went in to try to get people out. fmtiger124 had been nearly on top of the blast site, and was flung far from the building. mingtian grabbed Kokonilly by the arm and pushed her from the growing fireball as paleonaps grabbed aubrey048. They were both lifted off their feet a second explosion from a gas main. EASTstroudsburg13 tried to run, but the second explosion tore off his leg and sent him sprawling in the dust. Soon, space scientist came across the corpse of ophiophagus, whose brain stem had been violently torn by the explosion. RandomPerson had a severe concussion from his attempted rescue effort, and was unconscious but breathing. Through dumb luck, a combination of a bulletproof vest and a landing in a pond saved fmtiger124, though he was in critical condition for weeks.
Assessment of the rubble showed that only ophiophagus and EASTstroudsburg13 died in the bombing. The dramatic first blood showed everyone that this revolutionary meant business.
And now for your second Clue Burst:
1. He ruins his nick. So nice and pretty, perfectly legible…and then BAM! right in the face.
2. Both old and new, this victim is perfectly balanced. I like that.
3. They’re getting shortchanged.
4. I was not planning on killing them. I guess you could say it was murder in the 2nd degree.
5. This accent {or dialect, I won’t be picky} almost made Joseph incomprehensible. I didn’t understand him until I saw the solution to the clue.
You have one week.

[PacificGoldenPlover]

#4 I think is quadratic

[AlphaTauri]

I'm just going to say, getting blasted backwards from an explosion, being "flung far", landing in a pond, and living is really, really improbable. The explosive force necessary to blast someone a good distance away would mean that they'd likely be travelling so fast that hitting the water would be like hitting concrete. Plus, an explosion big enough to propel someone "far" would probably have killed them outright, due to the shock wave, etc.

tl;dr - There's a problem with yo physics, just sayin'.

Also, d'you mind explaining the first clue burst? There were a couple in there I'm not sure were quite solvable without knowing the answer.

Edit: Sassy has obviously put some time into his/her clues...the apostrophes and quotation marks are "fancy" ones, instead of the straight ones the forum uses.

[quadratic]

I protect myself based on clue #2 saying 2nd degree
EDIT:#4

[Assassinator]

Excuse my physics, AlphaTauri. I am sorry if the story was too "unrealistic" for you.
All clues will be explained at the end of the game, as is customary. I will say, though, that clue number one should have been easily solved and I have no idea why you had so much trouble with it. That said, I will explain it in the customary fashion.
And yes, I use my Word Processor to type out the clues. I like to be able to refine them and the stories to make sure they are perfect- aside from the physics.

[quadratic]

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no theories just an observation