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Don't worry, you are saved by my ignorance.
However, that means I stepped into the danger zone, so...

i throw you out of the way.
Unfortunately, i twist my ankle and collapse. So the "I like Trains" comes back, right next to me.

Luckily, I put duct tape on his mouth! But now my duct tape is stuck on my hand.

A turtle peels it off of your hand and says "Hello!"
It's the mine turtle.

I guess I throw it?
But I have lousy aim.

It goes towards my banana car with the math tests in it, so I won't have to take a math test!
But no, there is an elephant in the way.

so the elephant explodes and we all celebrate by eating its flesh which has been cooked gloriously.
then we realize it passes on a disease similar to kuru...

But I know the cure!
Unfortunatley, that cure is the Raison Strain, so...
(Circle Series reference.)

I call my friend and he just simply arranges for my brain to be removed, flown on a ray of light to the sun, and back in 9 minutes so the prions are destroyed and my brain is functional.
Unfortunately, I remain in a vegatative coma.

So I wake you up!
But that hurts my arms.