Save the person on top of you!

[mnstrviola]

...So I connect your internet cable but a pikachu shocks the wire and...

[aubrey048]

I call the electrician, but he's actually an ex-con who tried to assassinate the president and now has set his sights on me...

[quadratic]

but I solve the kill clue and correctly guess that he is zzyzz98
but then moderators come after me because I spammed (thats a past tense I have stopped

[Littleboy]

I still cut your fingers off you that you can't spam (or do anything) on scioly.org. Your mom starts to eat me.

[The Architect]

Your father comes in and eats your mom. You throw a pair of scissors at him and he dies. you go to an orphanage but all of the other children pull out guns(BIG GUNS, not pistols)

[49ers]

so i calm them down with food like candy and cookies.
buth then they get insanely hyper and i can't control them!!!

[Littleboy]

I lock them in a 3 cubic foot room and don't feed them.
But then the room explodes from being too full and I get trampled.

[Cheesy Pie]

I use my telekinesis powers to lift you up.

But then my telekinetic waves are intercepted by a dancing whale, so I drop you from a height of 50 feet.

[scientist]

chuck norris round huose kicks you back into a hospital bed and then goes to fight Darth bane (if you aren't a super star wars fan you won't get this) then the night sisters start to make a force mind bomb and my force droid destroy and force passify force-users aren't working Help

[Cheesy Pie]

Kennedy Junior High wins at regionals (again) and saves the world from a star wars obsession.
But the star wars cast lands back on earth to counter it.