jokes

[sciencegeek100]

a horseshoe crab, a trilobite, and a dunkleosteus swim into a bar....

they are all marine... i purposely made it have no sense in it...

[sciencegeek100]

Ok me and my friend were the SPL and ASPL for our Boyscout troop and we had to pick a game to play after the meeting. We choose Pictionario Rapido (a game my Spanish teacher had us play, except this time we were using English words. So the object is to look at the word race up to the board draw the word and you team would race back to me to guess the answer. So one of the words was "Arrow of Light" (it's a Boyscout thing), so a kid goes up draws an arrow on the board with like rays coming out of it and a sun. So one of his teammates comes up, after a bunch of other wrong answers from other players, and guesses "Is it an arrow?". So I say "Be more specific", and the same kid says "Is it a spaceship?". That had me laughing so hard it was crazy. How do you get spaceship as a specific type of arrow?

wow, just wow... fyi... I am an Eagle Scout

I just hope he was not a life scout...

[sciencegeek100]

Haha, thats funny. I got another blonde joke:
A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street. The brunette says "Aww, look, a dead bird," and the blonde looks up into the sky and says "Where?" (funnier when said aloud, not written)
And similarly, I noticed that if you say "Hey, its snowing!" while on a bus, people will look straight up instead of out the window This actually happened.

this is just sad considering dead birds were falling out of the sky...

[aubrey048]

I have some pretty geeky jokes to share...


HANDY REFERENCE GUIDE TO SCIENTIFIC TERMINOLOGY

apical membrane--------That green bumpy stuff on the outside of a baby dill
asymmetry--------------Where you bury dead people
diglyceride------------what you scream out when trying to kill a glyceride
hippocampus------------where hippos go to university.
microtome--------------An itty bitty book
pachytene--------------Adolescent elephants
prokaryote-------------In favour of take-out food
redox------------------Rusty cattle
periodic acid..........sometimes it is and sometimes it ain't
biotin.................how much coffee you purchase
helminth...............what the hockeyplayers wear on their heads, thilly
homology...............the study of real estate
phorbol................why the batter took first base
micellar................where I stayed when the tornado hit
palmitoyl...............what your hands secrete when you're nervous
polar head group........Inuit psychiatrists
amphipathic.............the ability to hike both ways
porin...................what it is when it's rainin'


- - -

I didn't come up with these. I got them here http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/

[Schrodingerscat]

(Not my joke, have read it somewhere before)

Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer for a traffic violation. The police officer asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replied to this, "No, but I know where I am."

[aubrey048]

(Not my joke, have read it somewhere before)

Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer for a traffic violation. The police officer asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replied to this, "No, but I know where I am."

Haha! Good one!

[TheGenius]

This technically isn't a joke, but...


Salary Theorem
The less you know, the more you make.
Proof:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money
It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money .
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

[Cheesy Pie]

My cruddiful jokes

Five men stood at the corner of the street. What was the street's name?





How do you make a string bass?


Why can't you mix a cappuchino with a frappuchino?


(credit to classmate) What do you call a cow with no milk?

[Cheesy Pie]

great joke mr. cool

here's a classic,
why did the chicken cross the road?





to get to the other side

Sorry I am doubleposting, but somewhere, its illegal for chickens to cross the road!

[fishman100]

Here's a great one:

What do you do when you're cold?

YOU PUT ON A SWEATSHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHH!!!!!!