Scioly Assassination 90: The Theory

[liutony66]

I protect tuftedtitmouse because the hat looks like a mouse that is tufted.

[Cedavis6]

I have a strange feeling we are wrong...

[Assassinator]

I have decided to leave mnstrviola's house after I got done eating with him. Instead, I went over to Austin's house. He wanted to give me one of his hats out of his collection. It was warm and furry. It even had a part that looked like an ear. It was warm. I liked it except, it was made in '99. I want a new hat, not an old raddy hat. I might sell it to someone. It is warm enough in mnstrviola's house, where I am always welcome. I won't ever need it.

Austin's house is referencing Austin Texas. The hats were made here since 1999. This company advertises as "warm & furry hats with ears". These hats are called Chia Hats. Yep, thats right, I have finally killed an officer.
I snatched the hat out of Austin's hand and dashed off to go find Chia. She was in her normal spot in her basement trying to solve the clue. I snuck into the house and crept down the steps. She was just sitting there, waiting to die. It made it so tempting to shoot her because it would've been easy. I don't like easy; I wanted a more fun solution. I took the hat in my hands so that the opening was out. I took a running start and leaped off the steps. I managed to pull the hat over her head on my way to her. However, I think I broke my ankle. Through the pain, I kept pulling down on the hat. Motivated to kill. It was fully around her head. She could no longer breathe. I waited until she stopped moving. Then I left. I was impressed by my latest kill.
New clue in less than 12 hours, when I get out of the hospital from my right ankle.

[chia]

Welp.

[Assassinator]

Running down the street like your hair's on fire
Thoughts running fast like a man on a wire
Can't stop smiling but I don't know why
Don't know why
Don't know why.
Oh, how I loathe this drunk who burns their hair and then runs down a street that is as big as a wire. Why would anyone be stupid enough to do that? Someone, please tell me. I want to know. Killing off idiots like this benefits the world. We will no longer have as many pigeon. If you want to help contribute to my goal of exterminating the mentally ill, please wonder about this mystery with me while you aren't protecting.

[Shad160]

The lyrics are (kind of) the ones to Best Days of Our Lives, by Right the Stars. They're...relatively indie, so the clue itself may as well be an obscure ID clue, unless the sassy went out of their way to find the song.

Anyway, Right the Stars makes me think of Astronomy right away, but it could definitely lead elsewhere as well. Basically all I've really got to contribute to this is the song, which was easy to google <_<

[Cedavis6]

It reminds me of the end of my sig, "Yes, I did have too much sugar today," meaning I'm on a sugar rush.
Not that I'd protect based off of that.

Now that I think about it, it could be AlphaTauri. Alpha Tauri IS a star, after all.

[syo_astro]

ignore this post, submitted twice for no reason

[syo_astro]

Alpha Tauri IS a constellation, after all.

I'll excuse you since you don't do Astronomy/reach/solar (right?), but Alpha Tauri is in fact not a constellation. It is a star, also known as Aldebaran (you can type that one into google for more). It IS in the constellation Taurus, the Alpha meaning that it is brightest star in Taurus. We all make mistakes, so it's just good to learn that for the future .
/me gets on with his evening

[Cedavis6]

*facepalms*
Space is NOT my strong suit.