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when halo reach comes out and they run to get it
when all the copies are sold out and the diside to start a nuclear war

but then they realize "oh wait, we are the italian mafia. we dont have access to nukes. only the americans, russians, chinese, iranians and north koreans have that kind of access." having that kind of knoweledge makes them unhappy. so they decide to go after my doggies. well i cant let that happen so i bring my f-250 complete with snow plow to run over them. but they have land mines set up all over

so i hang glide in and save you, but you steal my hang glider and leave me with the land minew and mafia

so i send in the teenage mutant ninja turtles. they kick ass and take names. then we party it up at my place. too bad Shredder got ticked because he wasnt invited. so he decided to take me out

so i use a tactical nuke on him... but I also blew myself up

so I randomly appear out of no where and save you, but then I leave O.o.....

so i pick you up in a vehicle

but then i remember I USED THE LAST BARREL OF OIL TO LAUNCH THE TACTICAL NUKE

So I save you from a burning building to remove you of your wallet.

I kill the man who took your wallet
but he comes back from the dead with a nuke that he's about to launch at my face

then i kindly remind you alll AGAIN!!! that nooonnee friggin has nukes but the us, pakistan, north korea, china, russia and possibly iran, but they arent releasing that kind of information. so there. your pigeon life is saved. but you all get pigeon at me because you never listened the first time i explained this and decide to come after me with a bunch of nerdy pigeon such as laser pointers