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quizbowl13 wrote: you cant hear the funniest joke in the world without dying....
but anyways, BP spilled oil on them and stopped them. and made a huge environmental disaster.
however, the human torch fell on the oil, and the oil became ablaze.

well maybe you cant if youre you, but im deaf. i cant hear. and anywhoo, my friend who drives a plane saved us all with that foamy stuff that they spray on wild fires in california. however, this stuff kinda tastes like poo and is poisonous when ingested. which i found out a little too late.

So I was like, "Screw you!" Only you couldn't hear me cuz apparently you're deaf and thought that my hand gesture was an attempt to help you. You reached for me with your dying hands and made a noise that Hellen Keller would have been shocked by when all of a sudden a dinosaur on LSD appeared, covered in melted Sour Patch kids. He thought we were super huge arachnids and tried to stop on us when...

Raptor Jesus appears and smites the dinosaur on LSD. Suddenly he turns on us, his eyes start to glow and he says:
"Prepare for the velociRAPTURE"

and then i kindly remind him that 1) im deaf so i cant hear him and 2) we arent quite holy enough for the rapture to come and take us to heaven. so he leavees us where we are at. but the that ducking frumpleykins is after my pigeon pie recipe. so he takes out and AK-47 and is about to gun me down for it when...

we realize that we are in limbo.
then leonardo dicaprio comes and....well, he just walks around smiling.
meanwhile, since paleonaps was the architect of this dream, he makes it so that the gun turns to butterflies. however, paleonap's dead wife (see the riddles section) who gave birth to his child in a locked car comes with a gun and points it at us. (i sense a movie plot)

I tell her she is dead, presenting her with her corpse that I carry around at all times (...) and she realizes that she is dead and vanishes with a poof.
(Inception fan? Me too)
We walk around to the temple of Raptor Jesus, where crazed forum-people (heh heh, not us) attack us for trolling their trolling.

i then throw turritella shells as projectiles which kill them.
however, we look up and see a giant copy of Freakonomics falling on us

I then realize this is a dream because the Raptor Jesus temple is in limbo, so I produce a stinger missile from y back pocket and shoot the book to bits. Suddenly we are out of limbo and attacker by a rabid komodo dragon.

we bring the komodo dragon to therapy, and discover that his thirst for human blood came from an abusive father and a helpless mother; we take him step by step until he becomes a fun-loving vegetarian Democrat senator of Virginia. (we're still working on his campaign for Komodo 2012)
however, the new york state competition is attacked by Anne Heche.

I have no clue who that is. but a giant piano fell from a building onto her head as she walking down 31st street to get a bagle from Mi bagle es su bagle. i was also on my way to that place to get a delicious cinnamon bagle when i noticed that i was being followed by the italian mafia. those pigeon. always up to no good. so they wre about to shoot me with a tommy gunn when