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so then chuck norris roundhouse kicks the gun and it is broken.

but then piers (that one show host guy) buzzes us off America's got talent!!!!

Sharon and Howie overrule Piers but...
Piers gets mad and is about to push the WMD buzzer!

When suddenly out jumps Chuck Norris and he roundhouse kicks piers in the face. But then Chuck has to take his anger out on someone else that happens to be me

and then I let you die, but your ghost comes back to haunt me...with Richard Simmons.

Then Ghostbusters sucked both ghosts out with a vacuum, but the vacuum malfunctioned and all the malevolent spirits came back out and tried to kill me.

so I let them, and then they came after me.

but Jesus loves me so He let me come back to earth as a human and then i saved your sorry a*s, like usual. dont ask how i did it. but then some crazed pink flamingos decided they were jealous of my super coolness and wanted me to die

haha, wait, this one sounds familiar! I believe we shot the flamingos and went to Sweden or some such ridiculous place where we had to cast a spell using Barbie heads and a few other nasty things, but the spell went wrong somehow, and, to make a long story short (TOO LATE!), we ended up in Canada being blasted by Rick Astley...

But the trusty supremely honorable instigator of teriaki, Mr. Jim, decided to bring us some super sonic earplugs. What we didnt know about these earplugs is that they were made of plutonium!

So we all nearly die and go into limbo from inception so....