jokes

[GGuy5]

Ha


What about
Prescription Drug label:
for prescription use only

On tv i say a show named "The Haunting" and it said "may contain disturbing images not suitable for children" (huh, i wonder why it would be scary.......)

[Shad160]

Omg, Deja Vu! I saw every single one of those "Ever wonder" ones earlier today on another site.

[rbejnood]

haha, wow. but the thing is... i didn't get these from a site....

[Phenylethylamine]

On the Southwest Airlines peanuts packages, it says "Processed in a factory that processes peanuts and other tree nuts."

Now, what I want to see are some peanuts processed in a factory that doesn't process peanuts and other tree nuts.

[croman74]

I like the Congress/progress one. Those were all really good.

[gneissisnice]

I love the Poptart instructions, its something like:
Remove from package
Microwave for 3 seconds
Eat

3 seconds...ITS STILL COLD!!!!!

[croman74]

This is funny yet sad at the same time (yes it's true):
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

And this joke was apparently the funniest joke in the world in 2002:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

[packer-backer91]

I got a math joke that a kid at my school said to me
why cant Trig. get a house?


Because tan would not Cos Sin.

[GGuy5]

Hispanic joke-
Why can you not let Hispanics play Uno(card game)???

They take all of the green cards
no ofense to hispanics

c'mon man!, that isn't even funny

[cypressfalls Robert]