jokes

[scichic34]

that's rather depressing
how about a blonde joke?
okay

once there was a blonde who had lost her job. after a while, still nobody hired her, and she had 2 children to provide for, so she prayed to god.
"god, please help me", she prayed, "let me win the lottery, or i will have to sell my car". a week passed, she didnt win the lottery, and she had to sell her car. she prayed to god again, "god, please let me win the lottery, or i will have to sell my house." a week passed, she didnt win the lottery, and she had to sell her house. she prayed again "i'm begging god, let me win the lottery, or my children will starve to death" a month passed, she didnt win the lottery, and her children starved. She prayed again "help me god, let me win the lottery, or i will starve." there was a flash of light, and a booming voice came from the sky. "BUY THE EFFING LOTTERY TICKET!!"

[ichaelm]

^^^ lol.

[rocketman1555]

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=241802
read the answer given for the question stated.

[scichic34]

lol
that's pretty funny
did he really get an A?

[smartkid222]

omg that is really funny.

[denmarksoccer]

i laughed so loud at that.

[robotman]

that is hilarios

[keamo]

here's one that JeRRy told on the old forum.
A kid is failing math, so his father decides to enroll him in a private Catholic school, where he can get better teaching and more attention.
So the first grades come out and his father sees that he has an A in math. He asks him why he's improved so much and so quickly. The kid says, "on the first day of school I walked into class and sat down. I looked up and saw a guy nailed to a plus sign on the wall. Right then and there I knew that these guys didn't mess around when it came to math."

Heard that one before. Fun funny. Here's one. A lady (let's call her Sally) is driving along a deserted road (in the middle of nowhere) when she sees a Native American woman walking on the side of the road. Sally asks the Native a ride in her car and the Native agrees. Sally tries to strike a conversation with the Native American woman but she doen't talk. The Native notices a bag on the side of Sally's seat and asks, "What is in that bag?"
Sally answers "A bottle of wine, I got it for my husband." The Native thinks about it and says... "Good trade!"



Hope ya got it!

[keamo]

A man is living with his wife. One day he finds her lying on the floor and not moving. He calls an ambulance. They rush her to the hospital, and the man spends hours anxiously waiting in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor enters the waiting room.

"I have good news and bad news."

"Well, tell me the bad news first."

"Ok. Your wife had a stroke. Miraculasly, she survived. Unfoutunately, she has lost many of her brain functions to the stroke."

"Oh dear. What happened?"

"Your wife can no longer control her jaw muscles. This means that you will have to spoon-feed her baby food three times a day, and move her jaw for her.
She also lost all movement in her tounge, so she will only make this loud screeching noise when she tries to talk.
She can no longer bathe herself, so you will have to give her a sponge bath every day.
She can no longer tighten her sphincter muscles, she will have to wear a diaper and you will have to change her frequently.
She will also need to take this rare, expensive pill twice a day, and it is not covered by your insurance.
She has also lost the ability to communicate, so she will be very resistant to anything that you try to do to her. You should probably tie her hands before you feed or bathe her, so that she can't hurt you."

"Oh my gosh! What's the good news?"

"Naw, I'm just kiddin' with ya. She died!"

That's is one the most messed up (and sadly hilarious) joke I have ever heard...

[Liv]

Ok so my friend thought of this........
So man goes to China and he wants to be polite so he sticks his pinky up when he drinks his tea,

HE RUNS