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but luckily billy maiers comes in with awesome duct tape and stitches it,

but theres suddenly a gigantic gap between you and billy maiers

But for some reason he is pointing the + end of some giant supermagnet at me, and I am pointing the - end of some giant supermagnet at him, thus we get pulled back together.

Then a tornado strikes...

So we run into the cellar to escape the twister!

but the cellar is full of monster spiders!!!!

So I use some super advanced technology to freeze time so that we can go to a new, clean cellar.

But than the cellar sinks into the ocean... (IDK I can't think... )

So I made a life raft out of lime rinds and save you!

But the lime rinds are burning my skin!!!

Good thing you were the son of superman, so your skin ain't burnin anymore

but a meteor strikes and blocks out the sun along with your powers....... (fossils)

so i use my amazing power of telekinesis to move the meteor into a lake
but suddenly you lose your footing and fall into the now boiling lake

so i use my awesome powers of shooting-ice-into-a-boiling-lake and the lake turns to ice...but you're going to break your skull on the ice

"No Problemo!" I shout, as I bring out my handy dandy roll of duct tape.
I construct a duct-tape parachute that brings you safely to the surface of the lake.

But suddenly, a gigantic evil squid breaks out from under the ice and grabs hold of you

as the evil squad approaches i pull out my novelty flamethrower and melt them
but when i vaporized them i also melted the lake and am about to fall in and drown!!