jokes

[zorbak5044]

Haha thats funny. In fact, i think i'll try sprinkling gunpowder on my oatmeal from now on. But if i die, i blame you

if youre dead how can you blame him? oh well. moving on

a riddle:
There once was a man who sang this song:
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
He'd sit around and sing this song:
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
"Hi! Ho!" away he'd go,
Singing all night long!
Hey dilly, dill, dang, dang, do-reeee!
He'd stay up til it was three!
On his knee he'd keep a jug!
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
And with it he'd keep a mug!
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
"Hi! Ho!" away he'd go!
Off to see the girls.
To laugh and sing and play his games,
Until he went insane!
Oh what can it be that's this much fun?
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
Seems its liked by everyone.
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
"Hi! Ho!" off we go!
Off to have some fun!
To have a taste, a bit of fun,
And be like everyone!
Tell me now, all about this row!
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
Oh, what's this now, I feel like a sow?
Hey! Dilly, dill, dang, dang!
Up is down and down is up,
I feel so sick inside.
Guess I'll have to drink some more,
Or cover my head and hide!
"Hi! Ho!" away we go!
Off into the night!
And if you can tell me what this is,
I'll tell you that you're right!
"Hi! Ho!" away we go!
Off into the night!
So tell me quick, I've got an itch,
To have some more tonight!
YEAH!



Answer: liquor

[gneissisnice]

um, you couldve given us a chance to answer. Not that it wasnt obvious.

[robotman]

yea

[NerdyStars52]

How about this for a riddle:
There was a man who lived on the very top floor of a very tall building. Everyday as he went to work he took the elevator all the way down to the bottom floor. But When he came home on sunny days, he only took the elevator half way up, then climbed the stairs the rest of the way. On rainy days however, he took the elevator all the way to the top on the way backs to his apartment. Why?





(Jeopardy Theme plays while you think.)









Answer: He was a Little Person. He wasn't able to reach the button for the top floor, so he was only able to go half way up. On rainy days though, he could push it with his umbrella.

[Uncle Fester]

This is a JOKE THREAD, not a rIddle THREAD.

Anyway. . .

One day, I get asked to come down to a local tournament, their first one, and help get things started. When I get there, they inform me that they have only one tourney supervisors' shirt left, and it's obviously a "second"-- not made very well. they then tell me I have to wear it, school policy. SO, I try it on.

"Look!" I complained. "One sleeve is longer than the other!"

"Hey, just pull your arm in a little bit, like this. See looks okay now!

"Now look at the waist! There's a gap on one side, and it's too long on the other!"

"Oh, quit complaining! Pull one side of your pants way, way up!"

"But now my pants look bad!"

"Come off it; just walk kinda sideways; if you don't lift your foot, nobody will notice!"

Well, there's no sense in arguing any more. So, I just give up, do what I'm told, and start shuffling off to get my event ready. As I'm walking down the hall with my event gear, I'm eyed by two coaches in the hallway.

"Wow, Bob; look at that handicapped man! It's amazing how he can carry so much stuff!"

Bob replies, "Yeah, and not only that, he sure looks good in that perfectly-fitting shirt!"

[starpug]

Another good one from the Fester joke book. But another fictional one too.

[gneissisnice]

Yes, before anyone else asks, none of Uncle Fester's joke are actually true. So stop going "0.o seriously? Wow i wish something funny like that would happen to me!"
And also, if youre gonna tell a riddle, please give someone a chance to answer it.

[sciolykid101]

Haha!

[dudeincolorado]

love it!

[Mr. Cool]

This is a JOKE THREAD, not a rIddle THREAD.

Anyway. . .

One day, I get asked to come down to a local tournament, their first one, and help get things started. When I get there, they inform me that they have only one tourney supervisors' shirt left, and it's obviously a "second"-- not made very well. they then tell me I have to wear it, school policy. SO, I try it on.

"Look!" I complained. "One sleeve is longer than the other!"

"Hey, just pull your arm in a little bit, like this. See looks okay now!

"Now look at the waist! There's a gap on one side, and it's too long on the other!"

"Oh, quit complaining! Pull one side of your pants way, way up!"

"But now my pants look bad!"

"Come off it; just walk kinda sideways; if you don't lift your foot, nobody will notice!"

Well, there's no sense in arguing any more. So, I just give up, do what I'm told, and start shuffling off to get my event ready. As I'm walking down the hall with my event gear, I'm eyed by two coaches in the hallway.

"Wow, Bob; look at that handicapped man! It's amazing how he can carry so much stuff!"

Bob replies, "Yeah, and not only that, he sure looks good in that perfectly-fitting shirt!"

nice one Fester