Strange Things You Never Thought You Would Hear (With No Context)

[Things2do]

"I've got too muck swagger to be a cadaver." - TV show advertisement.

"Do you know where I can acquire some ammonium perchlorate?"

[HugoTroop]

"[This binder] is USDA certified for combat"

[HugoTroop]

"The federal government built it for the football gods"

[Things2do]

Quietly commented during a Boy Scout meeting, while pointing at a group of guys (Click to Show Hidden Text)

Context: They were imitating a large marine mammal

"What are they, the Playboy Bunny Patrol?"

Edit: "...but the next time you see him smack him in the mouth with a wet squirrel, he's full of ****" - Found on a Ford engine forum.

[LittleMissNyan]

"Mommm, the cat's transcending againnn-"

[Fyren]

"Physics is so yummyyyy~"
A very sleep deprived phoenix tried solving some kinematics problems at 7 AM and somehow mixed up breakfast with physics.

[sneepity]

"it'll spit out the snails if they're too hard"
read from a informational article about keeping pufferfish. their teeth grow their whole life, so they need to chomp on some clams and snail shells to file them down! just something interesting I found out. I'm thinking about getting a baby pufferfish (of course after researching them very in depth and making sure I can take care of them!!). It frustrates me how some people *gift* pet goldfish to people, it's truly horrible. They're kept in a glass bowl, which is one of the worst tanks- goldfish actually grow up to be pretty big (think the size of your palm) if they're kept in a large and healthy tank. Tanks too small just stunt fish's' growth and stress them out. So make sure to research in depth about how to keep fish before even thinking about it >:(

[twoplustwoisten]

"Who is blind and mute?"
"The blind and mute man."

[HugoTroop]

"Religious symbol chicken nuggets"

[SilverBreeze]

"Charred lipstick is yummy? Spicy lipstick is yummy."