Scioly Assassination 146: A Superstore By Any Other Name

[JoeyC]

Upon finally checking my gmail I have now achieved intelligence and know who the Sassy is (because they resolved a comment in the google doc and it told me their name because of that). Therefore I shall no longer do ID clues.

[Creationist127]

Oh shoot, we don’t have another day... I protect myself because we’re out of time and we have two protects left anyway. Sorry in advance, whoever dies...

[JoeyC]

*a few blankets and a bottle of Advil are missing from the shelves*

>>> Huh. And you were doing so well. pepperonipi never saw me darting down to claim them. ‎I should have blamed the Germans.
this one’s owned by mr. pullstring pride and the jaded luggage guy. shame they didn’t use C9H13N, would have been so much quicker that way. <<<

±72 hours due to competition prep/sickness/general inactivity

[Creationist127]

*a few blankets and a bottle of Advil are missing from the shelves*

>>> Huh. And you were doing so well. pepperonipi never saw me darting down to claim them. ‎I should have blamed the Germans.
this one’s owned by mr. pullstring pride and the jaded luggage guy. shame they didn’t use C9H13N, would have been so much quicker that way. <<<

±72 hours due to competition prep/sickness/general inactivity

Dang it.
That chemical formula refers to amphetamine, used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy. The nonsense words could be another anagram, but I can’t find anything meaningful. A 503 error (in the sig) indicates that a server is unavailable. ...That’s as far as Google gets me. The other part of the sig is ktkefijxjxeshvvwxixmakdiNQRZRVSVZMFI . All these signatures must be the same kind of cipher... right?

[JoeyC]

Wait +/- 72 hours means that they could have gone back in time 72 hours ago to post the answer. Mafs (I'm joking by the way)

[Torchic]

*a few blankets and a bottle of Advil are missing from the shelves*

>>> Huh. And you were doing so well. pepperonipi never saw me darting down to claim them. ‎I should have blamed the Germans.
this one’s owned by mr. pullstring pride and the jaded luggage guy. shame they didn’t use C9H13N, would have been so much quicker that way. <<<

±72 hours due to competition prep/sickness/general inactivity

Dang it.
That chemical formula refers to amphetamine, used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy. The nonsense words could be another anagram, but I can’t find anything meaningful. A 503 error (in the sig) indicates that a server is unavailable. ...That’s as far as Google gets me. The other part of the sig is ktkefijxjxeshvvwxixmakdiNQRZRVSVZMFI . All these signatures must be the same kind of cipher... right?

Maybe chemical formulas also contribute to the solving? Ibuprofin (in advil) is C13H18O2

[CookiePie1]

well, yesterday after Penn avogadro crashed and gave a 503 error. Maybe the sassy went to SOUP?

[JoeyC]

Looks like the Sassy is sick, so hope you get better soon!
On the other hand, amphetamine is an ingredient in Adderall.

[LittleMissNyan]

AHHHH I SUCK AT WORDPLAY RIPPP
also the Sassy's sick? yeah feel better soon!

[Torchic]

I hope the sassy feels better, but I don't want anyone else to die.
Im just a bit nervous about the Germans in the clue, and that the link in my signature leads to a song thats sung in the German language. (No, its not sung in Russian)