Strange Things You Never Thought You Would Hear (With No Context)

[Name]

"Why would anyone find Benjamin Franklin attractive?"

dammit ben franklin

also lmfao what is the context of this

[LittleMissNyan]

"I am depressed. *drops bingo paper into recycling bin* "
"Suddenly, pineapples."
"WAIT NONONONONO *yeets recycle bin open and dives for bingo paper* "

Alternately:
"I am depressed. *drops bingo paper into recycling bin* "
"Suddenly, pineapples."
"...why are pineapples coming out of the recycle bin?"

[Umaroth]

"Why would anyone find Benjamin Franklin attractive?"

dammit ben franklin

also lmfao what is the context of this

We were talking about Ben Franklin's illegitimate children

[SilverBreeze]

"I dare you to go and kill Harry Potter." Overheard in Chinese

"Your knees aren't going to grow!" Part of a conversation in PE; said to me

"You don't know how to do anything correctly, don't know how to count, don't know how to breathe..." Our choir conductor was rather angry; said to me

"I want to kill myself!"
"Look, I wrote that blue light is scattered more."
"Okay never mind I don't want to kill myself anymore." Going over a DP test; said to me, second line was said by me

"I like how you're more concerned with the paint on my arm than the wound on your leg that's oozing blood right now." PE; said to me

[raytay]

"I like how you're more concerned with the paint on my arm than the wound on your leg that's oozing blood right now." PE; said to me

^Me except neither would concern me. It ain't art if you don't have graphite, paint, or marker on yourself at some point.

[LittleMissNyan]

"SOMEONE! QUIET THIS MAN!"
"No! [something about fajitas]"
"YOU! QUIET THIS MAN!"
*delicately inserts hot cheeto into mouth of fajita man*

"I KNOW WHAT DOG FOOD TASTES LIKE"
".....I am concerned"

[SilverBreeze]

"You licked the rock?!"
"It was not halite. We figured that much out. It tasted like linoleum floor."
"How do you know what linoleum floor tastes like?!"

"It's only been a day and I already climbed a chair."

"Why are all the Starbursts pink?!"

"Why didn't you warn her about the bench? She could have died!"

"Yes, borrowing someone's dictionary for an assignment is a case of blatant academic dishonesty."
"They would have been valedictorian for eighth grade graduation if it hadn't been for that."

"Tape!"
"Tape!"
Partner puts tape on team member's face because she's out of fingers to hold pieces of tape.
"Stop! This isn't food science! I'm being bullied by girls!"

"We ran around for 20 minutes in the rain looking for a hammer... And they gave us a mallet instead... So it didn't have a claw end... and you took out the nail in 2 minutes with nothing but two Crayola markers?" My partner running around in the rain, my friend who came with us, and I were all on A team, and the kid that took out the nail was on B team.

[Umaroth]

"Yay! Good job paper towel!"

[SilverBreeze]

"Yay! Good job paper towel!"

"This is giving me crime flashbacks."
"Yes, she was involved in the... textbook piracy gang."

Also: "But I have chicken nugget money!"

And:
"How much sense did it make when you read it?"
"A bit...."
"Question: How late at night were you reading it?"

[raytay]

*someone turns on the Minecraft music*
*everyone in the room starts headbanging*
*volume increases*
*headbanging intensifies*
"If you don't know this, you are lying to yourself.